Flubbed

That moment when you’re on the dais making the presentation you’ve passionately created and practiced for hours, days and months.

That moment when you realize the presentation is going horribly wrong.

FullSizeRender-60That moment when your inner mean girl takes over confirming the presentation is an exquisite disaster.

That moment when everything around you devolves into slow-motion including the hijacking of your voice by the Charlie Brown teacher.

That moment when all you worked for and hoped for is finally—thankfully—over.

The next moments and days are full of regret, embarrassment, disappointment and sadness. Feelings not readily shaken. Luxuriating in a hobbit existence.

Eventually you tire of the suffocating weight of the feelings. You step through the door of your hobbit hole into your own perfectly, perfect radiant light – recognizing the horse grazing in the field with the empty saddle – she’s waiting for you.

That moment.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Yvonne Lumsden-Dill
    Mar 25, 2015 @ 01:12:52

    Dear Linda, It’s funny how much pain and shame I feel when I think I have over-shared or suffered an embarrassment. But when people have or experience an embarrassing moment, I don’t think badly of them; or judge them. I may feel empathy or pain for a split moment, but soon release it. So why am I holding myself to such a higher standard? Aha! Perhaps wanting to be better than everyone else, and feeling liked for being perfect! I had one of those moments recently replaying and replaying the tape in my head and beating myself up after an experience. Here’s what happened: Had a wonderful time last week, celebrating my 86-year-old mentor’s birthday with 25 other women in a beautiful, safe setting. We were all given cards on which to write a blessing for the birthday girl. Then we were asked to write 3 things on a separate card about ourselves. 1) who we are (the person we are, not our jobs, titles or positions), and 2) two things that we are committed to doing only for ourselves in 2015. I gave a quick synopsis of the child my grandmother raised that resulted in the woman I am. Then I said in 2015 I am working on meditating more and being still. A few people also shared similar goals. Immediately after sharing my childhood experiences, I was regretful. My regular issue came up: I knew about 50% of the women in the room, and I figured that I had ruined my image by admitting to failures and doubt. I am so still inside my head. My decision to share was deliberate … to help me get over my shame, but I still felt shame. I can’t imagine anyone took my story home and thought about it for days, but I did. So, for me, I realize my journey from shame takes time. As Brene Brown says, “Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we’re supposed to be. And it’s a straight-jacket.” I know you know this, Linda. http://empowerlounge.com/5-powerful-quotes-from-brene-browns-tedtalk-about-shame/ Congratulations on your discovery!

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    • Linda R Neff
      Mar 25, 2015 @ 10:02:50

      Beautiful, gorgeous Yvonne. Thank you for this most amazingly, thoughtful and brave response.Shame is powerful and can so easily render us powerless. I celebrate you for sharing with the women at the party and here in this space. You have spurred me to continue doing the important inner and outer work that enables each of us to let our best and most important light shine into the world.Thank you Yvonne. xoxo

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  2. Trackback: No time for losers… | Voices of Pearls

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